If you have been in South Florida, you know the deal. The drivers there are among the worst in the U.S. I drove in South Florida for a year, not including the two times I rented a car on previous trips. I guess I should start with those two times I rented a car to give you some examples.

The first time I needed a car for a couple days to finish up my first week of face-to-face class time at Nova Southeastern. On my second day with the car, I was driving into the Hess gas station next to my hotel in Davie to top off the tank before I turned the car in. Some guy in a small Toyota or Nissan pickup (with a huge bumper) backed up into my car without even looking behind him. I stopped and got out of the car to talk with they guy, and he was gone! Some nice person pointed to the condo complex into which he pulled. I spent the next hour with a police officer filling out paperwork. Good thing I bought the collision insurance at the rent a car place. Hit and run–unbelievable!

The second incident was a couple of years ago on I-95 heading south. A mid-80′s GM (think Toronado or something like that) was passing on the left and seemed to be trying to cut in front of our rented car. It was obvious there was not enough space to do it, but I guess the driver could not figure the physics of time and distance out. Instead she slowed down, cut in front of the car behind me, passed me on the right, and started yelling and swearing in English and Spanish! Her passenger, a dude with a butt hanging out of his mouth, took his lighter and tossed it up a la Magic Johnson, Baby Skyhook-style. Fortunately for me, this guy’s skills were nothing like Magic’s. He missed big time and lost his lighter in the process.

I wish I could say that those were the only incidents for the past year I spent in the area. The drivers in South Florida exhibited a wide range of skills and attitudes. One guy in a Jeep Cherokee in Plantation didn’t seem to want to be behind me, so rather than move over into another lane to pass me, he passed me with about 10 cm. of clearance, in my lane! Another guy in a BMW in Plantation pulled out in front of me as I was heading towards University one morning. I couldn’t slow down enough without getting close to him (I was doing the speed limit, he cut me off that closely), and he just stopped his car in the middle of the road! Unbelievable! Other bizarre behavior included honking horns after traffic lights had just changed, driving 55 mph. in the fast lane when the speed limit is 65 mph. (or even 70 on the Turnpike), constant tailgating—even when there is plenty of room in another lane to pass, drivers insisting on turning right at a red light, even if it means cutting off someone who has a green light, I mean the list is endless. Drivers beware (is there a word for driver in latin?)!